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| Why have a mentor? |
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I'm quite happy to say, for the first time in my career, I have a mentor. It's absolutely life changing and that is no exaggeration. Both professionally and personally my growth is very exciting. Having someone in a safe space to have vulnerable conversations, receive feedback, guidance and support is huge.
Mentor: An experienced and trusted advisor. The definition of a mentor above gives two aspects doesn't it?
'Experienced' is a relatively easy topic. Most of us aren't afraid to admit there are things we don't know and could do with some advice and guidance from time to time. It's no big deal to acknowledge there are others with more experience. Generally that can come with age, but not always, and that is where our own bias thinking comes into play (which is another topic in itself).
Let's take a look at 'trusted'. What a word right? We all know the line 'trust is hard to gain but even harder to re-gain once lost' but how do you find someone you trust in the first place to be your mentor who comes with the experience you are looking to tap into? For me it is a leap of faith and not one that needs to be taken blindly. My mentor, at our 'pre-mentor' call actually guided me through this process and it made a huge difference and built that trust I very much needed.
Things to think about when you are looking for a mentor:
What is it you want to get from the experience?
Is it making the next step in your career or guidance through a short term matter. Having that chat with a potential mentor will give clarity to both parties and an understanding of how the relationship will work.
How do you want to communicate?
Be it telephone, video call, email or in person. consider how often you might want to talk. short term or more complex goals could mean regular communication, whilst long term slow burners could mean you communicate less often.
Are there any boundaries?
Boundaries could be anything from topics of conversation to times of the week you communicate. If a third party is to get involved has this been agreed between mentor and mentee ahead of time. Transparency and honesty will go a long way in this trusted relationship.
Personal Commitment
Are you committed to seeing this through? Remember you are asking for another professional's valuable time and input. Sometimes it can be tough, after all you are reflecting on yourself, it isn't always pretty. If the timing isn't great be honest with yourself about it.
It is also really important to remember that a mentor/mentee relationship is a professional one. Often they can lead to trusted personal relationship but it is not usually the case in the first instance (thinking back to boundaries).
Where to find a mentor
You can find a mentor anywhere but there are a number of places you can look to help;
IIRSM have a mentor scheme that can help put you in touch with a mentor: Hello - welcome to IIRSM | IIRSM. Other professional bodies also have schemes that can help, get in touch with your membership body to find out about it.
Natural networking, whether this is via LinkedIn or other places simply getting chatting to someone could help open up an opportunity, or even asking a connection if they know someone.
Reaching out. I reached out via social media, this led to a conversation about what I am looking for and how it could work. Helping us both understand what mentoring means in this particular instance and I'm pleased to say it has really worked out. Such a valuable experience.
Thank you
Thank you to John Nelson . This guy knows how to mentor and asks some challenging questions. Every time I speak to my mentor I take a lot away to think about and to process. It often provides me with clarity when things get cloudy and helps me push myself to those next limits.
Now go out there an get yourself a mentor! |
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